How much silence do leaders really need?
"I affirm that tranquility is nothing else than the good ordering of the mind." M.Aurelius B.IV.3
“People seek retreats for themselves — in the country, by the sea, or in the mountains — and you too are especially prone to desire such things. But all this is quite unphilosophical when you can at any moment retreat into yourself.
Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul.”
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (Book IV, 3)
When you start to lead people, you begin to think about them in a different way. In fact, it stops being indifferent, because if you were indifferent, you couldn’t influence them positively.
But when you start to bother yourself not only with your own thoughts, but those of others as well, the mental load you need to carry can become immense, even overwhelming.
Advisors offer various methods to manage this overload. A silent retreat is one of the more common pieces of advice, and I think it’s basically correct.
But what is silence, and is it practical? Is it just a bit of quiet in a room in which you are alone with no sound, maybe just a dimmed light or a candle? Although this might be helpful, it’s not very practical.
As a stoic learner & leader, I need to be able to find peace in the moment when I realize I have lost my inner control due to emotions caused by thinking about others’ problems. Those emotions are normal; they will always arise, but it’s about learning to control them.
This leads me to the conclusion that, as a Leader, I don’t need physical or audible silence; I need peace of mind, I need to be in control.
Even in a loud room, when my children play, I can maintain this inner peace and silence. It takes deliberate focus and it’s based on long-formed habits, but it works.
My conclusion for today is that I personally associate silence with inner peace and self-control, rather than being in a quiet place and hiding from the outside world. I need to be able to practise in intense action; I need to be able to lead and stay in control actively.
—Adrian
Really great reflection Adrian, very true we try to 'escape' our problems, only for those problems to travel with us.
True peace is always about looking internally and cultivating silence and peace wherever you are. If you do this often, you also learn to enjoy holidays much more.
Everyone has a different way to stay in the 'present'. I use sports and dancing to do this. When I am playing, my mind is focused on the present moment and is not drifting and I can feel both mind & body relax.
Some use meditation, others 'silent' retreats and as you say, practice going into that space daily if you can, the more you do, the easier it becomes.